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Author Topic: sharing a role with another nanny  (Read 496 times)
carolina2014xXXx
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« on: April 05, 2017, 02:45:04 AM »

Hi dear friends and nannies,

i am just wondering if somebody could give me an advice as presently very close to give my notice. Working for a single mother since nearly 18 months, first in temporary contract then extended....to until she will be 18:-) but clear was, from the beginning, that the little one would go to a second nanny in the morning and then i would make the afternoons and evenings or nights.
Now, from the beginning of sharing this role, i was not happy with the choice as the morning nanny is at home with 4 other children ( the reason why the mother wanted this, as i was not living in the country and just came for caring for the little one and of course, resident nannies with children are a good solution) but it is a small apartment and she never goes out with the children, the radio is playing very loud on the terrace - just to hear if you are coming along the street - and inside the TV is on the whole day. We are on a Caribbean island, it is hot and every time i pick up the little one, she is sweaty - no AR there - very excited because she did not move that much in the 6 hours and is strapped in the transat although she is now 18 months and loves to walk and to explore the world and that is what we are doing in our time together. I started caring for her, she was 6 weeks old and we are a heart and soul. Now , she got sick very often the last times and because of my own experiences with my children and my nanny experience worldwide since over 17 years, i feel what is wrong or good and if the other nanny says : it is a dry cold and i say , it is a very deep cough, so the mother waits and then after the baby is getting over 40 degrees fever, we run in urgency to the doctor and she has a bronchitis with angina .....the same now with her little pop - sorry do not know the exact name - which is for me , since the beginning a pilin infection *mushroom? and not the common teething. The doctor confirmed this also but after 1 week the mother changed the creams, saying now, it is ok and now it is worse as tonight, even the water was hurting her and when she screams or needs help....she wants to be with me. So i guess, it is also a very big problem but believe me, i do everything to let the mother be involved and go in the background when she appears and encourage all the time the little girl to go to her mother and she refuses all. So now, i feel between 2 chairs, the mother and the other nanny and although i love this little one, i feel, i cannot manage it anymore. Please let me know your thoughts. I am happy to share more information as surely i miss the wood for the trees.....Thanks to all, for your patience to read this and to take the time to answer.
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MiniMe
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« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2017, 11:46:32 PM »

It sounds like you are very attached to the little girl and will do anything for her. It's very hard as a nanny not to become so attached but she is the mother's child and if the mother is making decisions such as having this other nanny then so be it.
Have you tried to talk to the mother about the situation when you collect the little girl from the other nanny? Be careful as a lot of it could simply be to do with the culture of where you are and that is just the way it is. Would you have a solution for the mother instead of the child going to this other nanny? Could you look after the child instead?
At the end of the day though, it is a job. As hard as that sounds. I would advise you to look after yourself. Think of your own feelings, your future. If you feel the child is being neglected (neglect is a big word - is strapping a child into a chair for hours on end neglect?) then you need to do something about this but be careful how you go about it - keep very good notes, photos, etc., like a daily diary if you need to in case you need to take anything further, and to protect yourself. Think about what you want from this situation, what you can change without overstepping the professional line. Do you communicate well with the mother? Single parents often feel vulnerable so maybe work on communication and involvement with her in a way that empowers her too. You sound like you are doing a good job otherwise. x
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carolina2014xXXx
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« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2017, 01:47:36 AM »

Thank you very much dear MiniMe, this is wonderful to get an advice and to get another point of view so that i not going in circle, just seeing my own thoughts.
I will answer you deeply tomorrow as you are giving such great impulses that indeed, i have to consider them and happy to get a new view. Wishing you a lovely Friday, kind greetings from oversea.
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