Should I quit my new nanny job??

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[o0glittermoon0o]

First off I hope this is ok to post and that this is the right board to post on, apologies if not.

Anyway, to my question - should I quit my new nanny job that I am not really enjoying?

I started two weeks ago, for a lovely family with two very young children, both under two (although one turns two in a few weeks). I also have another job, which has just been cut down to one day due to both children now attending school - I have been there just over a year. ( I have been nannying since 2009, and was a nursery nurse before this).

Thinking it would be a nice challenge, and be great experience for my cv, I took the job quite happily. However, since starting I have not had one enjoyable moment there! The eldest is a nightmare, isn't very interested in playing and seems to do everything in his power to pretty much climb the walls! I know that he is young, but he in no way responds to discipline or warnings, and believe me I've tried. Parents do too; in a way I think thats why they got a nanny, because they don't really know what to do!

Also, just recently, hubby and I have decided not to stay where we currently rent and plan on moving out the area, so I would quit any way, because I don't want to be commuting for 40mins+ for a few days a week for not the best pay (I am earning £15 less a day on this job then in my other, but it IS only round the corner). However, this wouldn't be for another 7 months. If I were to quit now, would they still have to pay the agency fee, or would the agency place someone else for "free"?

Really I have three options: 1. quit now after finding a new job (if I do this how much notice from now; it says a week in my contract ((which I haven't even signed!!)) and a four weeks after a month)
2. tell them I am moving in six months and leave it up to them, or:
3. stick it out for seven months and then quit anyway.

Please help, I feel horrible going to a job I don't like, because children pick up on this so easily, and I don't want to upset them  . Plus, in my opinion, being miserable in a childcare job is probably the worst place to feel like that, after all I am responsible for two little people and its really isn't fair on them if their carer doesn't want to be there.

Thanks.

[sparkly angel]

yes they will still have to pay agency fees and the agency will have to find them another nanny ir refund the fee.

If you are going to leave anyway then thats your decision as to if you leave now or later.

The agency will want to know WHY you are leaving..... they will NOT be impressed if the reason is because you cant cope with the behaviour of a ONE YEAR OLD 

Not being nasty but on a seriouse note, if you cant cope with / control a toddler then you need to seriously think about wether nannying is for you.

Completely agree with "no job is worth being miserable over" But i dont think a toddler should be able to make a nanny quit, sorry!

[o0glittermoon0o]

Haha, its not just the toddler. The Toddler is just jealous when the baby is getting attention, i.e when I'm feeding or changing.

I think i am just used to working with older children and with toddlers on a one to one level, which is obviously easier as they will respond much better to that attention then having to share with a younger sibling.

I also know that in a few months, he will get better at listening; in a previous job a child was the same age and went through that stage of exercising their control in rather awful ways, including hitting, biting and throwing, but I got them to settle down and behave nicely within a few months, so its not that I can't cope. Sometimes jobs just don't fit, despite how dedicated you are or how much you usually enjoy your profession, which I do. I have been to interviews before and immediately known it wasn't the job for me, I'm sure everyone has had this at some time or other.

I know I would just feel awful for the parents because they decided to employ me because they obviously thought I would be a nice fit.

[suzy_woo]

I always get the two/three week itch in new jobs, it's not unusual.

Poor chap if probably so confused, it'll take a bit longer for everything to settle down especially if this isn't a full time position.

I'd also thought that high maintenance toddlers were just part of the job. Try stickers, marble jar, and more positive reinforcement if discipline isn't having the desired effect.

 

[SusieQ]

From a parents point of you, tbh I think you should quit now. It's not fair on the children if you're only planning on staying 7mths anyway. They then have to get used to someone else. You've only been there two weeks. It takes time for babies and toddlers to get used to new people and of course they're going to test the boundaries. If you're not coping so early on then I think you should give notice and let the family find someone who will cope. Sorry if that sounds harsh and I know you have to think about yourself too but the children obviously need a bit of structure and routine and stability in their young lives.

[lovekids86]

I would give yourself at least a month to try and settle in, it takes time. 

Toddler is probably testing you as a new figure of authority has entered his home.  Set in place a discipline routine and set yourself a challenge to stick to it for at least a couple more weeks.

[jypsigal]

yes they will still have to pay agency fees and the agency will have to find them another nanny ir refund the fee.

If you are going to leave anyway then thats your decision as to if you leave now or later.

The agency will want to know WHY you are leaving..... they will NOT be impressed if the reason is because you cant cope with the behaviour of a ONE YEAR OLD 

Not being nasty but on a seriouse note, if you cant cope with / control a toddler then you need to seriously think about wether nannying is for you.

Completely agree with "no job is worth being miserable over" But i dont think a toddler should be able to make a nanny quit, sorry!

its not just age though is it, each child-and parent are different and i had a very hard 2 yr old but that was down to having the 2 yrs before me with another nanny from another culture and nightmare parents who are insistent you do things their way but don't know that it doesn't actually work as they rarely spend any time with him and when they do there are 2 of them. so i wouldn't say if you can't cope with this one yr old then nannying might not be for you; if you can't cope with ANY children then i would think that, but not one child-and remember it isn't her only ever job.

[holly1990x]

If your leaving anyway then leave now. The amount it will affect the children is not fair. If u stay for 7 months then they will get used to you then have to say goodbye. Its not fair on the family either you are giving them a false sense if security. Think of it from theor point of view would you be happy if your nanny had no intention of staying for any more that 7 months but didnt let you know. Finding a nanny is stressful enough for all family members without giving the job to a nanny tht you think is perfect only for them to leave soo soon. When your nanny you put the children first at all times. If you stay then you are putting yourself first. Sorry if it sounds harsh but its the reality.

[coconutjam]

I agree. Chopping and changing jobs to suit yourself doesn't give a great impression to employers so if you want to leave you should do it before the kids/parents become attached to you iyswim. Its not fair to your bosses to string them along when you have no intention of staying. In fact I've read of a couple of nannies on here who seem to think its ok to drop families in it when they decide "oh the jobs not for me I can find something better" then the job that they take thinking its better turns out to not be all that great so they then quit that job then apply for another "better" one and so the cycle continues. Professional nannies don't chop and change unless there's a serious reason iyswim? When you take a job you commit to it and don't look for something "better" before you've even settled into this job.

My advice, though, is for you to leave now as you already know you'll be leaving in a few months.

[duffas_friend]

I agree. Chopping and changing jobs to suit yourself doesn't give a great impression to employers so if you want to leave you should do it before the kids/parents become attached to you iyswim. Its not fair to your bosses to string them along when you have no intention of staying. In fact I've read of a couple of nannies on here who seem to think its ok to drop families in it when they decide "oh the jobs not for me I can find something better" then the job that they take thinking its better turns out to not be all that great so they then quit that job then apply for another "better" one and so the cycle continues. Professional nannies don't chop and change unless there's a serious reason iyswim? When you take a job you commit to it and don't look for something "better" before you've even settled into this job.

My advice, though, is for you to leave now as you already know you'll be leaving in a few months.

I absolutely agree with you! I think it is terrible that some nannies think it is alright to go in and out of jobs and accept something until something better comes along (unless ofcourse a temp job)!!!
Normally my answer would be stay and settle in however since you are leaving anyway I think let the parents decide. My current MB knew the maternity nurse before me could only stay 8 weeks and she would need someone longer but really liked and wanted first one as long as she could have - even for only short time.

Hopefully the parents will realize that it does affect the children bonding with someone then having them leave and thry will say that fine leave - or you could offer to until they find someone else?

[vintage_gown]

I would suggest talking to the parents & telling them you're thinking of moving & leave it up to them.

I think in regards to the agency the fees are only payable once the trial period has been completed?

If you weren't moving I would suggest sticking it out. I started a similar job earlier in the year, a 5 month old & 19 month old, the 19 month old is one of the most defiant children I've ever met, won't really listen to a word I say (though is very sweet & cuddly). I went to bed crying every night for 3 weeks, was exhausted beyond belief & was generally a mess. Now, 6 months later, I can easily say this is the best job I've ever had, I love it & I'm so so proud I stuck it out!

[tigger]

I always believe you should follow your gut feeling, it never leds you astray. As for leaving in seven months time how definate is it! Plans change and seven months is a very long time away, you may change your mind in leaving and commute.

Maybe discuss your concerns with the parents and create a plan of action together. So everyone follows the same method.